Transforming Divorce into a Collaborative Journey: Embrace the Power of Mediation

The 1989 satirical comedy, The War of the Roses, is a harrowing example of a divorce gone very, very wrong. In the film, the marriage between Oliver and Barbara Rose begins to unravel in a bitter and outrageous divorce battle, becoming synonymous with high-conflict divorce and regularly referenced in the media. If only the Roses had considered mediation.

Working with A Mediator

Mediation is a collaborative opportunity for couples navigating separation and divorce to work together to shape their future. With the guidance of a neutral mediator, spouses can focus on fair resolutions instead of past grievances. This approach allows for productive discussions in a safe and confidential environment, addressing key issues like asset division, custody, parenting time, and support. A skilled mediator helps foster open communication, promotes understanding, and facilitates problem-solving and teamwork. Those who choose mediation often find a smoother, more peaceful method of resolution compared to traditional divorce methods, saving time and money. The mediator's role is to facilitate communication and help guide decision-making between spouses. They assist with:

• Division of Assets and Allocation of Debts. Which assets need to be divided, how will they be divided, and how will debts be allocated and paid?

• Custody Arrangements. What custody arrangement is appropriate for the family, and how to put that arrangement into legal language for the settlement agreement?

• Post Divorce Support. What type of support—spousal support (alimony), and/or child support—is appropriate, and how to determine the amounts and duration.

Bruce Matez, a family mediator, explains, “Mediation is outside the litigation model traditionally employed by attorneys. It helps couples—married or not—make equitable decisions about finances, property, and custody to thoroughly assess their current and future needs.”  Such discussions are privileged and confidential, meaning that if you later decide to go to court, the mediator cannot testify as a witness, which protects your interests.” 

Working with a Certified Divorce Specialist (CDS)

Couples sometimes require assistance from a financial advisor with a background in divorce planning, preferably a Certified Divorce Specialist (CDS). Financial planners with this certification work with divorcing spouses, assisting them in minimizing their financial uncertainty and by helping them better understand their financial needs during this challenging time and in the future. In some instances, this may involve creating tailored solutions to ensure their financial well-being.

A CDS offers expert guidance to help clients understand the divorce process, make informed decisions, and work towards fair and sustainable outcomes for both parties. Their advice is particularly valuable when it comes to asset division and ensuring that both individuals—and their children—have a more secure financial future. Key areas they can assist with include:

Crafting Budgets  

Creating detailed budgets to help one or both parties understand their financial landscapes post-separation, post-divorce, and setting realistic expectations for negotiation.

Asset Valuation  

Dividing assets can be complex. A CDS can accurately assess a variety of assets, including homes, retirement funds, investment accounts, and cash assets, ensuring fair representation in settlements.

Tax Implications  

Clarifying the difference between taxable and non-taxable assets helps guide couples in making informed decisions about asset distribution based on potential tax consequences.

Pre-Marital Asset Values  

Determining pre-marital asset values helps maintain transparency in equitable distribution, particularly when one or both partners bring assets into the marriage.

Adjusting Beneficiary Designations  

Divorce requires updates to beneficiary designations on financial accounts, life insurance policies, and other financial documents, which financial professionals manage to prevent future disputes.

Strategizing Post-Divorce  

Assist in the design of investment and retirement strategies tailored to the new economic realities of one or both parties, fostering confidence in rebuilding their futures.

Conclusion  

Working with a mediator and a CDS during divorce mediation enhances the outcome for the benefit of both spouses, clarifies intricate financial matters, and paves the way for a more secure financial future for the parties. With expert guidance, you can embrace a hopeful journey filled with opportunities and lasting stability.

Bruce Matez, Esq., is an Accredited Professional Mediator (APM) by the New Jersey Association of Professional Mediators. With over 30 years of experience, he specializes in mediating divorce and other family law issues. 

The Second Act Money Guide Blog is published monthly. For more information or to arrange a consultation, please get in touch with Jason Cole, CFP®, CDS, at Full Court Strategic Wealth at 267.970.6464 or jcole@fullcourtstrategicwealth.com. Visit the website at https://fullcourtstrategicwealth.com/